A year ago I was in a life that would have been considered “perfect”by most people’s standards. Married to my high school sweetheart and everything on track to follow “the plan” that society has created for all of us. Maybe after we both finished school we’d have a few kids, family vacations etc etc. At some point this all changed for me. Do you ever wake up and just have the gut feeling that something is off? Well, imagine waking up with that every single day. Even now it’s hard to put my finger on it exactly. I just never felt content. The fairy tale never said Prince Charming wouldn’t be as wonderful as we all assume he will be. It never mentioned he would show so much interest in Cinderella’s friends..I also apparently missed the part of the fairy tale story where Prince Charming LOOKS like an action figure, but the action portion of the..ahem..battle…never lasts longer than a few minutes. Luckily for Cinderella there is plenty of action to be found in other things made of plastic. It never mentioned the months we’d spend apart while he was away for work either. I was left on my own to find entertainment and I was basically left to rediscover my party girl roots.. I enjoyed nights out in the city, spent almost all my time with friends, not nearly enough with family. Sorry about that if you’re family and reading this…I went to work every day..well most days. Sometimes it is hard when the days and nights all run together. If I made it in to the office I used it mostly as a recovery period. It was always nice to have a few hours to relax somewhere nice and quiet before the next social event began. If you’re my boss, please disregard that previous statement. After work I went to dinner. After dinner the second part of the night started; out with friends until the late hours.
Fast forward a year later. I’m divorced, I’m in love with a man who has two kids. They are wonderful. Ironically, a year ago, this man I love was in the same cookie-cutter life I was, that just didn’t feel right. The first child is a 13 year old boy I call Fife (you’d have to see the hat to know why…). If you don’t have a 13 year old boy, you’re missing out. These are the kids who still need you but like to pretend they don’t most of the time. They want grown up privileges with none of the responsibility. These are the ones who have figured out how cool it is to be the defiant person. They’ll figure out later how dumb it was to think that was cool. You know, the ones with the mouthy attitudes. They are also the ones who come running to you the second they don’t know what to do. And you still love it as much as always. It’s quite an adventure when you have this person who’s trying to figure themselves out. For most of us, that journey doesn’t ever really go away. The second child, Little Miss, is 4 year old girl who starts kindergarten soon. Not only is she four, but she’s brilliant. I know all parents say that about their kids, but trust me, you have no idea how smart she is. She also has the personality of a 14 year old girl. That’s right, mood swings, crying, and smiles that change your life.
It’s amazing how one can go from what you think is normal life to something so different than that. What’s even more amazing is taking a look at your life and realizing that ‘the norm’ just didn’t work for you. That somehow this crazy life with an ex-husband, and two ex-wives and two kids and crazy schedules with no free time is what works for you. THAT is the amazing part. When I sit back and think about myself, I am half shocked, and half not surprised at all. Funny how that is.
Our nights are spent on the phone with Fife, with Little Miss trying to video chat with ex-wife numero 2. We cook dinner, check the schedule for the next day to see who has what kid when. Bath time has screaming, there is whining over Little Miss needing to eat 4 more bites of chicken before she can get up from the table. There is lunch packing and laundry and bed time reading. After all of it, we collapse onto the couch, look at each other and know that even more than yesterday, our life is finally how it should be. Life is so uncertain, but I know two things for sure. Just like everyone has always said about love, when you know you know. And the second thing: there will never be a dull moment in the life of a party girl turned soccer mom.
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